Chapter 1 - Kae

So here we are, on an ordinary Tuesday morning in the Stex dimension. It's a decent day; the sun is shining, the tracks are busy, the streets are full of cars speeding around and honking and yelling angry road-ragings about each other's mothers...yep, pretty normal morning. At this moment our heroine, Pearl Ten-Twelve the observation car, is on her way to the Station depot to meet her boyfriend, Rusty. Accordingly they are to have lunch together on this occasion, and Pearl agreed to rendezvous with Rusty at afternoon break. So, Pearl has coupled to a yellow taxi and is making her way downtown. Sez Pearl to the taxi, "My stop is just down this next block. Will you take a check?" To which the auto replies "No habla!" Pearl says "What?", and the taxi dude retorts in some funny language that Pearl has never studied. Pearl exclaims "Oh great! A foreign car!" and momentarily wishes that she had not moved back to the big city after all.

Just then, when we were about to assume that that was actually the punchline, what should chance to occur but--

Chapter 2 - Anna

Pearl suddenly remembered the babelfish that she kept in her handbag for just this purpose. Whipping it out, she put it in her ear and could understand everything that was being said. Unfortunately, what was being said was 'no, we only take cash.' Bugger, thought Pearl. She did have just enough to pay for the taxi but it would leave her with no money to buy lunch (being a 90s Woman, Pearl always pays for her own sarnies). However, after a few milliseconds of thought she came to the conclusion 'sod it', paid the taxi driver (who was rather cross about only getting 5p tip), and rushed off to meet her lovely boyfriend.

Meanwhile, not far away, Evil Plans are being hatched. Electra Seven-Fourteen, seriously pissed off about having lost the race and everything, has assembled some of the most evil minds of the train underworld to help her take over the entire world. And how do they plan to do this? The answer is simple. They plan a deed so dastardly, a crime so very, very mean that I can barely contemplate it. Knowing that most trains are addicted to strawberry bootlaces, they plan to drug the entire world supply, making all the other citizens of Apollo Victoria (as I henceforth christen the city where we are currently placed) very suggestible and unable to do other than Electra's evil bidding! But who are Electra's helpers in this Evil Plan?

Chapter 3 - Kae

Who indeed?!

For that we'd have to journey into the shadowy depths of Electra's penthouse in lake-side Apollo Victoria, where the train-fiend herself is currently scheming it up with her lackey, Volta Triple-One-Five.

Electra is all geeked up because she's planning on taking over the world today. Her weapon of choice--delectable Strawberry Bootlaces. Now, you must understand that trains are used to a diet consisting of earth-mined materials such as coal, oil and a spectrum of minerals and earth metals, and while these items can be palatable and well-prepared (I hear Dinah has a killer recipe for titanium quiche), the arrival of Bootlaces took the trainworld by storm. For here was an edible so different and wonderful that Bootlaces were quickly ousted from the category of the planet's natural schemata and exalted as a modern-day gift from the gods. To make a long story short, Bootlaces swept the nation and became the biggest thing since macaroni and cheese in a box. And now, Electra plans to use this mob psychology to her advantage.

"So, Volta," sez Electra, "Tell me about this new mind control gimmick of ours." Now everybody knows that Volta, lowlife though she may be, is a highly intelligent train, who excelled in chemical science all throughout highschool and ended up Valedictorian of her graduating class. Only nowadays she's been using her powers for Evil, wasting piles of good book-smarts on the wiles of her mogul Electra. "It's really quite simple," states Volta. "You just contaminate the world's Bootlace flow with this chemical, then when everybody's gone all stupid, you roll in and take over."

"Excellent!" the boss exclaims with maniacal mirth, "Apollo Victoria will bow before me at last. Then I, Electra, will rule the trainworld! Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha!!!"

"Oh, oh, wait--" interrupts Volta, "What about all those trains in America who don't have any Bootlaces to get stupefied on?"

"Easy," Electra waves it off, "We'll just send them a plague of Pokemon to eradicate the minds of their children and Anime nerds."

"But suppose some people don't like Pokemon?--"

"Shut up!! Everybody likes Pokemon! They're all things to all people!! Now, if everything is in place, I believe it's time to begin phase one of my master plan to extol my rule over all I--"

"Oh, oh, how about this. Wouldn't it make more sense to use the mind control to turn non-Pokemon people into raging Pokemon fanatics, and then all those people who were already hopped up on Pokemon would have more competition than they could readily handle, which would cause a chaotic shift in social order, and then the Bootlace eaters would turn on the non-Bootlace eaters and the Pokemon people would--"

"Would you stop with the friggin' Pokemon already?! When I want your damn thesis paper I'll ask for it!! Now quit your rambling and get C.B. on the phone. He is an essential part of my masterful plan."

"C.B.?!" cries Volta, "But nobody's heard from him since 1984. I thought he was dead!!"

"Not as such," Electra retorts. "He was merely in a horrible disfiguring accident. He now hides from the cruel light of day within the catacombs of the Opera House. Only, you didn't hear that from me."

"Oh, but C.B., he's evil. Pure evil! Why, you'd have to be braindead to go into cahoots with a little rat-bastard like him--"

"Enough!!" Electra hurls a bolt of white heat, barely missing the lackey's head. "I didn't ask for your damn opinion, dork-weed! Now get off your ass and do my bidding before I gut you and fill you full of Spam!!"

"Yes, boss, right away!" agrees Volta, and exits without further question.

And what will happen next?! Will Electra plant the seeds of her diabolical scheme? Will C.B show up with some horrible ultimatum? Will our heroine Pearl get wise to the plot and miraculously save the day? Stay tuned to find out!

Chapter 4 - Anna

A Little While Later

Electra is sitting in her Room Of Power. She smiles at her own cunning, in coming up with such an Evil Plan. At last, she thinks, I can get my own back on those damn' steam trains and bloody fickle observation cars. Now she ponders the more practical points of her plan. *We need to break into the bootlace factory*, she thinks. *Correction, Krupp and Wrench need to break into the bootlace factory. But, the question is, can they be trusted with such a crucial mission? I'll have to get CB to go with them, for sure.*
"Boss?"
"Yeah, Volta?"
"We have a problem. CB must be ex-directory or something. I've looked all through the Cs and he just isn't there."
"Now wait a minute. I remember something. Last I heard, he was in Germany, using some sort of alias. Let me figure this out. I need to talk to my Partners In Evilness (or PIE for short)."
So Electra rings up the Troublesome Trucks, who tell him that sure, CB was in Germany, calling himself the Red Caboose or somesuch. They even have his mobile number and email address. So Electra runs off a quick message.

To: redcaboose@imanevilbastard.com
From: electra@powerstation.com
Subj: Hi, PIE
Message: Evil Plans are going down. If you can get to Apollo Victoria in a couple of days then I could use your help in my plot to take over the world.

And after a couple of hours of checking her email every five minutes, she receives this reply.

To: electra@powerstation.com
From: redcaboose@imanevilbastard.com
Subj: Re: Hi, PIE
Message: cool no one does proper evil plans any more just like the old days huh
how you gonna take over the world this time no races until next year so why now? sure I can get to apollo victoria theres a freight train going that way tomorrow or so probably need a brake truck or they will do by tomorrow anyway heh.
see you in a few days babe
xxxxx cb

Chapter 5 - Kae

It's now night-time, and Electra and Volta are hanging around the Room 'O Power. Every once in a while Electra gazes out the window at the sleeping world below.
"Look at it all, Volta. Soon it will all be mine."
"The parking lot?"
"The pa--the world, numbskull!! All of it! All we survey!"
"Oh. Alright, I understand. Only it's dark out, and the lot is kind of lit up by streetlights and it's all I can really see at the moment, at least from this particular vantage point. Could we say that the parking lot is like a metaphor for the world? Like saying you're going to 'rule the lot'--only it wouldn't really be the 'lot', it'd be the world?--"
"Volta, I don't know what your problem is, but I bet it's hard to pronounce."

Electra peers out into the darkness...at length she sees the impending headlights of the Limo that she sent to the central station--the one she ordered to pick up C.B. "Excellent," grins Electra. "The PIE is soon to arrive."
"Oh! We're having pie? How special. I like pie."
"No, we're not having pie! PIE is an acronym."
"Acronym?"
"Partners In Evilness. Weren't you paying attention to Chapter Four?"
"Uh--"
"Go get the door, knucklehead."
"Yes, your Blueness."

Meanwhile, out in the drive, the Limo has pulled up next to the door of Electra's place. An unmistakable red someone uncouples and tips the driver with a handful of Alf pogs that he ripped off from the comic shop a couple years back.
"Here ya go, sport. Don't spend 'em all in one place. Mwa-ha!"
"Very good, sir." The Limo tips his hat and leaves.
The caboose rolls up to the house. Before he can knock, the door creaks open and Volta's silhouette is cast in the awning.
"This is Electra's house. Electra is cool. Enter, if you dare."
"Uh-huh. Spare me the special effects, sweety. Me and Electra go way back!" He tips his white half-mask in greeting. "Now, where is the old firebug? Hey, Electra, you home? C.B.'s back in town!"

Meanwhile, in the deep darkness of the night, we find Krupp the armorments car and Wrench the repair wagon hiding out near the Bootlace Factory (which is like a Spaghetti Warehouse, only not quite). Krupp pounds the static out of a walky-talky. "Clear, Electra...verify!"
"Don't bother Electra," sez Wrench, "She won't answer, anyway. She didn't want to hear from us until we had something to report."
"Well, I'm bored! How come we gotta wait for this C.B. guy to get here before we break into the factory? We could have been in and out by now!"
"Perhaps you should tell that to Electra," Wrench suggests to his cohort.
"Uh...no, it's OK. I can wait. But what's so special about C.B., anyway?"
"Don't you know? He's evil. Pure evil."
"Big deal! Some of my best friends are evil! I'm not impressed."
"Look. The bottom line is, Electra wants us to wait. And I don't know about you, but I'd rather not get torched any time soon. So why don't you just shut your big trap and relax before someone suspects us? We are waiting for C.B."
Krupp growls at him. "Feh. I'm tired, I'm hungry, I'm missing 'Dragnet' and I can't see a damn thing. What a life! Why couldn't she have sent those Troublesome Trucks to do this job?"
"Because the Troublesome Trucks are under a whole different copyright."
"Oh yeah."

Chapter 6 - Anna

But by now, all our readers (all three of them) are asking, 'But what has happened to Pearl and Rusty? Did you just get bored with them or something?'. And the answer is, bad guys and Evil Plots are more interesting. But for the meantime I'll leave Electra to Kae and attempt to advance the plot a little (or hold it back, more like).

For now it is night time. And Pearl and Rusty are doing what they always do at night time. Yes, they're having a game of chess. It is then that Pearl remembers that they've run out or strawberry bootlaces. Never mind, she thinks, I can get some in the morning. And then her mind turns to other things, such as the fact that Rusty has taken advantage of her momentary lack of concentration and has her in checkmate.
"Sweety," she says. "Can you get some strawberry bootlaces on your way back from the Freight Yard tomorrow?"
"Sure, snugglemuffin," Rusty replies. "But they were sold out this morning. I'll have a look tomorrow."

Wrench and Krupp are still standing outside the bootlace factory, almost dying of hypothermia, and seriously glad that they didn't bring Volta (a freezer truck being the last thing they need around now). And it is then that Wrench sees, out of the corner of his vision, a strange, red figure, lurking in the shadows. "CB?" he whispers. "That you?"

"Curses, you spotted me. I've been standing here ten minutes, watching you get colder and colder. Mwa ha ha! But now, we have Evil Plots to put into motion."

Chapter 7 - Kae

The smoke clears in the awning of the Bootlace factory. On the floor sprawl a number of night watchcars, slumbering fitfully.

C.B., Krupp and Wrench remove their gasmasks and observe their handiwork. "Who'd've known the Bootlace factory would be so heavily guarded?" states Krupp. "Strawberry Bootlaces are no laughing matter, Junior," replies C.B. "They're totally serious business."
"They aren't going anywhere," says Wrench of the guards. "What was in that smokebomb?"
"That's a secret family recipe," winks the caboose. "But I'll give you a hint--that orange dust in Kraft Macaroni and Cheese is a lot more complicated than it looks."

C.B. leads Electra's two minions through the factory--a complex montage of bizarre assembly lines and machinery. "Just look at them, poor suckers," muses C.B. "How sad to be a stationary machine. Not alive, like us. If only you knew what was about to go down, my shiny friends!"
Krupp whispers to Wrench, "He's talking to machines, man!! This guy creeps me out hardcore."
"Keep it down," orders Wrench. "His kind can smell fear."
C.B. leads the boys over to a huge, campy vat that swims silently with reddish liquids. "What's that?" inquires Krupp. "That," answers C.B., "Is the Bootlace in its essential form. The stuff that dreams are made of!"
"Wow!" cries Krupp. "I bet if we threw somebody in there, they'd never be able to get back out!"
"Hm," sez Wrench, "We should have brought Volta."
"Check this out, chaps," giggles the caboose. "You're about to observe history in the making!" He removes a small vial from his glove compartment. "This little beauty has enough punch in it to possess every Bootlace this factory can turn out. When trains eat of the contaminated confection, their brains will turn to something resembling marshmallow Fluff. Then, Electra and I shall rule the trainworld! Mwa-ha-ha-ha--"
"Yeah yeah, we've been over this," interrupts Krupp. "Show us some fireworks!"
"Of course. The coup. Kids, do not try this at home!" Amidst maniacal laughter, C.B. dispenses the contents of the vial into the vat. Immediately the room swells with unearthly lightning and threatening florescent flashes. The caboose throws back his head and laughs as the special effects cast him in a hellish glow.
"This is all very impressive," assumes Krupp, "But it did seem pretty, er, basic. I wonder where the two of us come into this plot?"
Wrench frowns. "Ask a stupid question..."

It's now daytime, and Rusty, good fellow that he be, is on his way to pick up breakfast for himself and Pearl. He pulls up at the Bootlace Factory Drive-Thru and places his order...

"Yeah, I'd like two McBootlace Breakfasts and two 16oz oils, black." The voice at the other end of the drive-thru crackles with static. "Do you want fries with that?" Another voice butts in, and the static gets increasingly worse. "Dumb-ass! Of course he wouldn't want fries with that! We're supposed to be getting them to buy Bootlaces, that's the whole idea!"
"Shut up! I know what I'm doing!"
"Like hell. Give me that microphone!"
"Try to take it, bitch!"
"Why I oughta--" *kttttttchhh*

Rusty contemplates this scene for a moment, then shrugs it off. "I'll just...head on over to the pick-up window then..." He rolls up to the window and flashes a smile at the two embattled vendors. They break it up when they notice him.
Rusty offers money. "My breakfast?"
Krupp adjusts his vendor's uniform "Dyeh, yes sir. Uh, got that order, Mitch?"
Wrench reaches behind the counter and produces a bag of contaminated Bootlaces. "Order up," he snarls.
Rusty receives his order. "Thanks, kids. Have a nice day!"
"Bless you sir," says Wrench.
"Thank you for shopping at K-Mart!" says Krupp.

The two start beating on each other again, and Rusty rolls away, content. Along the way he opens the bag and takes a wiff of the tasty Bootlaces that await him at breakfast. "Oh, damn," he notices offhandedly, "They forgot my fries."

Chapter 8 - Kae

Rusty has just come home from the Bootlace Drive-Thru. "I'm back, angel-brakes!" He yells into the awning, "Breakfast is served!"
"Huh?" sez Pearl. "Oh, the Bootlaces! Oh, baby, I'm sorry. I just ate the rest of the Pop-Tarts, so I'm not that hungry."
"Oh," replies Rusty. "OK, then. You mind if I eat your share? I'm starving."
"Knock yourself out, shnookums."

So, Rusty has breakfast while Pearl hangs around and reads the daily Shining Times. At length she notices an uncharacteristic icy silence on the other side of her newspaper. She peeks over the top of the manuscript to see Rusty across the table--and he does not look well at all.
"Rusty, are you alright? I don't believe I've ever seen your pupils spin around in your head at quite that velocity--"

Before Pearl can finish this observation, Rusty is up and rolling toward the door, slathering a bit and muttering in some untrainly dialect. Pearl is justly concerned. Before she can stop him he's ambled outside and joined a veritable plethora of trains, all grumbling unintelligibly as they waver in the direction of the Bootlace factory!
"Holy Children of the Corn!!" exclaims horrified Pearl, who slams the door of Rusty's house and stresses over her next move.

Meanwhile, in the Room of Power, Volta is reclining on Electra's own repair table, clicking at a GameBoy as a Pokemon battle ensues. Suddenly, Electra throws open the door of the chamber. Volta flings herself off the table and salutes. "Mwahhh--boss! I thought you were off to take over the world!!"
"No, damn it," snarls Electra, "I just now woke up. Man, I hate when this happens! My whole morning's shot. Why didn't you come in and wake me?"
"Oh! That one's easy. Because I didn't want to eat my own wheels."
"Don't get smart with me, chill penguin! Now look. I can't go out and address the zombies like this. I look a fright. I need you to go talk to them for me."
"What?!!" cries Volta. "Me?! Oh, Electra, I don't think that's such a good idea. I'm terrible at public speaking. I get nervous and then I start to thaw, and then I get all melty, and it's just not a pretty picture--"
"Oh, come now, Volta. It'll be a snap! All you have to do is tell them they are all to serve Electra. There's nothing to it. And if you do get all bothered about it, just imagine everyone in their underwear!"
"Their what?"
"Nyeh, forget it. Now get out of here! And don't come back without zombies!"
"Yes, Electra, whatever you say." relents Volta, who leaves quickly. Electra picks up the Game Boy and hits a button to un-pause.
"Hee hee! That Pikachu's so cute!"

Soon enough, Volta has managed to drag herself engineless to the hubbub of the zombie action. She jumps up on a pillar at the factory and addresses the zombified trains.

"Citizens of Apollo Victoria!" she gasps. "Uh...I'm sure you're all wondering why you've been called here today..." The towns trains stare at her in blank anticipation. Somebody coughs. Volta looks ill. "I--uh--that is--" Volta looks at her hand, on which she has had the foresight to write her lines. "Aha! Here we go! Uh, you are all to serve Electra. There! That wasn't so bad..."

The crowd begin to mutter amongst themselves. Finally someone says "Eeh-lack-trah." Somebody else gets the idea and says "E-lec-tra!" Within minutes the whole crowd are chanting "E-lec-tra! E-lec-tra!" in a heavy, dull zombie chorus. Volta is relieved. "Happy! Trippy! The boss will be so pleased. Maybe she'll even start paying me after this!"

Suddenly a couple of audience members grab Volta and hoist her up on their shoulders, shouting "E-lec-tra!" Volta protests, "Hey! What's wrong with you people? Put me down, I'M not Elec--" She cuts that sentiment short, and allows herself a moment of completely impermissible ambition. She suddenly likes what she sees. "Yesss...that's right...hey you lot, I can't hear you in the back! Give it up for your leader, Electra!"

The zombies cheer.

It's not long before Electra herself, all spruced up and ready to address her people, comes cruising down the track. She is more than a little surprised to see Volta perched up on the shoulders of a couple of the town's beefier male citizens. "Volta," laughs Electra, "What do you think you're doing up there? You look ridiculous. C'mon down here and help me get this place in order."
"Ooh! I don't think so, sparky!" beams Volta, exuding a kind of confidence as such unknown to the freezer's persona. "You're a little late. The good citizens of Apollo Victoria have already adopted a leader."
Electra is fast losing her amusement. "You'd...better be going someplace good with this..."
"Wake up, boss! The plans have changed. As it turns out, my superior intellect has triumphed over your bullying tyranny. I'm running this truck-stop now! The people have chosen, and I say more power to 'em!"
"E-lec-tra!" cheer the trains.
"Dwah-ah!!" fumes Electra. "That's me! They said MY name!"
Volta stands up on her escorts' shoulders and points down at her former superior. "Not anymore! I am the Electra now!! Apollo Victoria is mine! It is I who they obey! It is I who they love! I am queen!!"
"Queen my buns of steel!" roars Electra. "You're just some deviant ice-cream truck from the Bronx!! I should fry you like a bad chicken!!"
"I've heard enough from this rabble rouser," decrees Volta. "Get this gutter trash out of my sight!" Volta and her escorts jaunt away from the scene. A couple of entranced trains surround Electra and push her around a bit. She zaps them, of course, but she doesn't stick around. Emotionally injured, she flees.

Meanwhile, in the catacombs of the Bootlace factory, the phantom caboose C.B. waits for a report from Wrench. "Well? What's up? Anything new?"
"Not much,'' shrugs Wrench. "Just some domestic stuff. Krupp got hungry and ate some Bootlaces."
"That's pretty stupid," notes C.B.
"Uh-huh. Now he's just kind of rolling around the back room, speaking in tongues or something."
"Sigh," sez C.B. "Is that the end of the report?"
"Oh! I almost forgot. Volta just lead a social overthrow, and now she's the leader of the world. And Electra's nowhere to be found."
"Aha!" exclaims C.B. "A new world order, starring the egghead freezer car! Now THAT could be interesting!..."

Soon, we catch up to our heroine, Pearl. Too impetuous to sit by and watch as the trainworld--and not to mention Rusty--are lost to laced Bootlaces, the plucky observation car has taken to the tunnels of Apollo Victoria. Hiding in the shadows, she's been busy taking in the situation at hand while remaining undetected to the zombified citizens. Hopefully, this single remaining free spirit will be able to shape an all-but-impossible plan to restore order to the town, overcoming insanely impenetrable odds and bringing back due honor to the name "Strawberry Bootlaces".

It isn't long before Pearl runs into someone she knows. Though one wouldn't suspect to find the likes of Electra hiding in a tunnel, Pearl resists the temptation to ponder this and assumes the worst. She jumps into a goshen-jitsu fighting stance and waves Electra off. "Stay back, zombie! I've got a roundhouse to the head with your name on it and don't think I don't!!"
Electra seems uninterested in a confrontation, and wipes her hand across her eyes. "Bugger off, observer! I don't want to hear your squeaky voice right now."
Pearl relaxes. "Ah! So you're not a zombie. That's good. But then again, you ARE evil, and that could be bad...hey, are you crying? You look upset."
"One of my cars just stabbed me in the back," mourns Electra. "She took all the brainless lackies and left me with nothing. And what's worse, she tried to turn them against me! What's happened to honor?!"
"Did they hurt you?" asks Pearl. "You look kind of denty. 'Course, it could be the light--"
Electra moans. "I'm vuh-very sensitive! They hurt muh-my feelings!" With that, she cries shamelessly into her hands.
This is so pathetic, thinks Pearl. Poor little tyrant. I do hate to see an evil train cry. "I'm sorry. That must suck," she offers. Electra nods and shrugs.

Well, this one really tops it, muses Pearl. I'm trapped between a rock and a seriously hard place this time. What do I do? Do I go on and try to solve this gargantuan social problem all on my own? Do I leave this evil bitch here to stew in her own juices? Or, do I bring her with me? She could be useful if I need some muscle, should this crowd get too rowdy. And I hate being alone in situations like this. But then again, she's a terribly untrustworthy person and a psycho!! She could turn on me at the drop of a hat! Oh, what's the lesser of the two evils? What am I gonna do? Why do I keep getting saddled with these moral dilemmas?!...

And what will become of Rusty? And will Volta really be able to keep all these new zombies in line? And what's that damn caboose got hiding up his sleeve? What will happen next?! Why is the sky blue?! What is the one true religion?! Are you going to Scarborough Fair?! All this and more to come!!

Chapter 9 - Anna

"Excuse me," says Pearl. "I just have to powder my nose." Then, she sneaks off and runs down another tunnel before Electra can stop her. Soon, she is completely lost. After much pondering on the point that since she is the heroine, any way she goes will automatically be the right way, she sets off confidently in a direction that she is almost certain can be called 'away from Electra'. She is almost certain about this because the sounds of someone shouting "Bloody cars! Never there when you need them!" becomes progressively quieter. Soon she is still completely lost, but completely lost a long way away from anyone else which in these circumstances is probably a good thing. Apart from the fact that it is very dark and lonely. Then she sees a ladder going up. So she climbs up it, not knowing where it will lead....

....and when she gets to the top she is still none the wiser. But after a bit of looking round, opening drawers, reading letters etc she realises that she has, in fact, come straight up into Electra's Room Of Power (which is of course empty at the moment). The big sign saying 'Cower All Ye Mortals Before Electra' gave her a bit of a clue, too. *Wow* thinks she. *What an amazing coincidence. Now all I have to do is find a big bottle with the word 'antidote' on it or something and we're home and looking for a dry towel*. So she starts to look around even more, but just as she is investigating what later turns out to be the drinks cabinet she hears someone behind her and quickly hides under a table. It is Purse and Joule, who are frankly pissed off at having been left out of the story so far.

"What I don't understand," says Joule, "is how they can go on about Volta and Krupp and Wrench all this time and not even mention us. It's just not fair. Drink?"
"Thanks," says Purse. "Well, I say we do something pretty damn noteworthy, so they have to include us. If we play a part in a major plot point, they can't just ignore us any more, can they?"
"Granted," replies Joule. "Any ideas?"
At this point Pearl gets fed up of listening to them, as she knows full well that *she* is the heroine of this little epic, so she kicks Purse in the shin, hits Joule over the head with a paperweight, doles out the same fate to Purse, and quickly ties them both to chairs, all the while thanking her lucky stars that she took part in that Basic Heroine Training course at the technical college. She considers stuffing some bootlaces in their mouths and ordering them to obey her, but decides that they can get her into less trouble tied up here. So, she resumes her search for an antidote, when what should happen but....

Chapter 10 - Kae

When we last met our heroine Pearl, she had just finished tying up Electra's remaining flunkies, Joule Triple One Five and Purse Nine-0 Two One-0. The two minions had been in the wrong place at the wrong time--namely the Room of Power, when Pearl had been fishing around for a possible antidote for the zombification of Apollo Victoria. Having disposed of her distracters, Pearl returns to the task at hand, hoping to find a cure to the city's plight (preferably with a big label on it reading "Antidote"). Suddenly, from out in the hall sound a number of wheels, fast approaching the room. Not wishing for a bigger confrontation than she can handle, Pearl decides to hide and dives for cover in a nearby closet (hey, I said she was plucky. I never said she was particularly creative).

The doors of the chamber are thrown open, and Volta saunters in. She looks pretty damn pleased with herself and her new position of Official Goddess of All Trains and Train-Related Persons. However, smug amusement quickly turns to shock as Volta sets eyes on her sister and Purse, tied to chairs and semiconscious from headwounds. Volta pushes past a few zombified escorts and runs to Joule, ripping the duct-tape off her mouth. Joule immediately regains full consciousness: "Arrrggh!! God! What are you trying to do, take all my paint off?!"
"Sorry," says Volta, who starts to untie the dynamite car. "Joule, what happened here? How did this happen?"
"Well," Joule explains groggily, "I couldn't help but notice that social order was suddenly starting to wig out, and that Electra was nowhere to be found. So I decided to do the noble thing and raid her liquor cabinet before anyone else could get at it."
"Clever," frowns Volta.
"Ha! You're not the only one with any brains in this family! So anyway, there I was, going through somebody else's personal stuff--minding my own business--when suddenly someone comes out of nowhere and clocks me with an amethyst geode! It hurt!! Am I dented?"
"I don't think so," sez Volta, "But don't worry, Joule. Whoever hurt you won't get away with it." She turns to her zombies and waves them away. "You lot! Search this place all up and down! Nobody violates the sanctity of our happy home and lives to tell about it! Go! Now!"
"E-lec-tra!!" chant the zombies, who turn and exit.
"Wow," states Joule, "Did you see those guys? They just did exactly what you said! And NOBODY ever listens to you! What gives?"
"Things have changed, Joule. As it turns out, I am now the grand, supreme ruler of the entire trainworld. Every word I utter is eternal truth and law."
"That a fact?"
"Yeah."

Meanwhile, Purse, who is still tied to his chair, has come to. "*Mmmmppphhh!*" he exclaims. The girls don't seem to notice him.
"Things are going to be different around here from now on," smiles Volta. "Joule, you will see new and amazing things come of my reign. The trainworld will bloom and flourish and I shall lord over it with an iron hand. I foresee a bright and glorious future upon the horizon. Care for a drink?"
"You bet, boss!"
"*Mmmmmppphhh!!!*"

Meanwhile, from the concealing catacombs of the Bootlace Factory, the deviant caboose C.B. looks down with malicious amusement upon a world in peril. "Silly mortals! What a bunch of chumps." His merriment dissipates quite suddenly, however, as he realizes that he is not alone in his hideaway. He turns around to see a certain familiar someone glowing dimly in the shadows behind him. The murderous look in Electra's eyes is enough in itself to send C.B. into a panic, but he represses his fear and grins at his guest congenially. "Hey, babe! I, uh, didn't hear you come in. Some circus, huh?"

Electra is in no mood for nonsense. She grabs C.B. by the throat and lifts him up to eye level (in case you can't picture her, Electra's quite a big girl). "What have you done?!" she seethes. "Those mindless scum were supposed to be pledging their allegiance to ME! And instead, they're all drooling over that damned backstabbing refrigerator!!"
"What a shame," chokes C.B. "But hey, what's a few subservient minions between friends--aack!"
"Don't give me that funny stuff, you little extortionist!!" shrieks Electra, shaking him a bit. "Everything's gone totally awry! My servant double-crossed me and turned the zombie citizens against me! I was publicly humiliated! Disoriented! Crushed!! I poured my heart out to a--dyeh--observation car!! I've lost all my clout and now I've got nothing! And it's all your fault!!"

C.B. struggles and Electra drops him. "It is NOT my fault," he says, rubbing his neck. "I didn't plan on this happening, it wasn't in the cards. But don't worry, sweety, you won't have to dirty your pretty hands by killing me. I'll help you climb back on top. Don't fancy I have too many alternative options anyway at this point..."
"You don't?" growls Electra. "I mean--you will?"
"Sure thing, kiddo! I mean, we're friends, aren't we?"

Meanwhile, back in the Room of Power, Joule and Volta are at the window, looking out over the trainlands gone mad. Volta is really quite pleased with herself. Joule is pleased with the fact that Volta is letting her consume so much of Electra's expensive beverage collection.

"Check it out, Joule. An entire universe, and it's all mine. Your big sister's really done it this time. Really makes you think that somebody up there's finally giving credit where it's due, don't you agree?"
Joule is in a good mood. "Oh, you bet! Y'know, sis, this is all so funny. I mean, REALLY funny. I would never have expected something like this from somebody like you, not ever!"
Volta frowns. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"Heh! Oh, nothing much. I guess I didn't mean nothin from it, forget about it."
"No, no, I'd like to hear where you're going with this."
"It's just, this whole queen-of-the-world thing! It's so funny seeing all those idiots fall over themselves for you! Never thought I'd live to see that! I mean, nobody ever even liked to look at you before, and now you're the most popular thing alive! Even the guys think so! I mean, granted they're all doped up, but it's still so hilarious, the irony of it all--it cracks me up!..."
"Oh yeah," snarls Volta, "That's REAL funny. You're drunk, Joule, and since you are, I will ignore that monologue and permit you to live."
"Really?" lulls Joule. "Wow! That's beautiful, that's so good of you. Hey, maybe you'll be a good leader after all! I mean, you don't have to be great-looking to be good leader, right? Sure, it's all about personality! And as soon as you get some of that, I'm sure you'll be just--"
Volta hits Joule and knocks her down. "Enough!! Nobody talks to me like that, you insubordinate bitch!! Don't you know who I am?!"
Joule doesn’t like this one bit. "Sure! You're my loser sister and you just earned yourself an ass-kicking!"
"You little brat!! Can't deal with my success, he? You always were jealous of me!"
"As if! If anything you were always jealous of me! That's how come you're doing all this crap, and I'm not impressed!"
"Impress this!!" yells Volta. She hits Joule again, who hits her back. A fracas erupts, full of punching and biting and malicious comments about assorted embarrassing personal issues. At one point the fight becomes so virulent that neither of the embattled trains notices the portal to the tunnel system, still open from Pearl's entrance. It isn't long before both of them go crashing into the tunnel below.

Purse sits tied to his chair and muses. How sad, he thinks. Sister against sister and absolute power corrupts absolutely et cetera et cetera. What a shame! What a double shame that nobody took the five minutes required to untie me. I could have been calling 9-1-1 and cleaning up the broken pieces right now. Oh well, all's fair in love and war!

Chapter 11 - Anna

Pearl sidles quietly out of the closet, noting with satisfaction that the reef knots on Purse's chair are still holding, and slams shut the entrance to the tunnels, locking it. For good measure she slides a bookcase over the top. *Sorted*, she thinks. And then notices also that the wall behind where the bookcase was is subtly different to the wall in the rest of the room. She realises that this subtle difference is that this part of the wall has a secret doorway built into it. Hearing the sound of angry freezer and dynamite cars banging on the underside of the trapdoor, realising that she is running out of hiding places, and considering that discretion is the better part of valour, she opens the secret door and slips inside (remembering to close it after her, this time).

Behind the door is what looks like a small office. And in the drawer of the desk - a small vial, marked 'ANTIDOTE TO LACED LACES'! Pearl picks it up, but just as she does so she sees someone in the doorway behind her. It's Purse, and he's looking mean. "Damn slip knots," mutters Pearl under her breath.
"So you found the antidote," says Purse with a mean curl of his lip. "You'd better give that to me, sweetypie."
"Shan't," says Pearl, turning round, and placing the vial in her cleavage for safe keeping. "And if you try and take it I'll tell Rusty and he and all his big freight truck friends will come and kick you from here to next Wednesday, see if they don't."
"You're coming with me," Purse says. "No one hits me over the head with a paperweight and gets away with it." Pearl thinks fast.
"Erm, that wasn't me," says she, as Purse moves closer. "It was Volta. She's jealous, you see, of how much Electra prefers you to her, so, she, er, hit you over the head."
Purse, not being in the running for Brain of Britain (or indeed anywhere near it), takes a second to consider this. Pearl meanwhile leaps out the window onto the fire escape (didn't I mention the window? It was there all the time) and races away. Now, she just needs to consider how she can use one small vial of antidote to cure the entire population of Apollo Victoria....

Chapter 12 - Kae

And so, our most plucky heroine procures the Bootlace antidote and descends the fire escape (this in itself a feat of considerable daring when you're on wheels). Once clear of Electra's penthouse, Pearl takes off down the alley without a second look, not even to answer Purse as he demands that she bring back that vial this instant. "Don't make me come down there!!" he yells at her back. Then he sighs and shrugs the situation off. "Nyeh, why should I get my wheels dirty? She's rushing right off into a pit of train-eating, oil-thirsty zombies. She'll never survive. And if she does, well, it ain't MY earthly realm, so it ain't my problem!" At that, he swaggers off to see if Joule has left anything good in Electra's liquor cabinet.

Pearl, meanwhile, careens down the alley in the direction of the Bootlace Factory. "My only chance," reckons she, "Is to return to the problem's place of origin. Once there, I'll most surely be inspired by a way to rectify the fiasco. Yeah, sure, that's the stuff! Gaw. I'm sure someday we'll all look back on this situation and laugh and laugh..."

Pearl pulls into the lot by the Bootlace Factory. "Cripes!" she observes as only an observation car can, "This place is swarming with citizen zombies!" Fortunately for our heroine, the zombie public seem to be very busy ogling blindly and chanting "E-lec-tra!"--so busy that they fail to even notice her. So she slips quietly into the factory without a hitch. "That was lucky," she states to herself. "Now, to figure out what to do with this antidote." She inspects the tiny vial as she makes her way down the factory's dark corridors. "Jeez, don't spread yourselves too thin or nothing...man! How am I supposed to administer this stuff to everyone in town--aah!!"

The sentiment is cut short as the hulking form of Krupp blocks Pearl's way out of the corridor!

Pearl shrinks back, doubtless that the much bigger car could ensure her untimely end. Noticing herself trapped, she remembers that the last thing you want to do in this sort of situation is boost your opponent's ire by exhibiting fear. "You may be big and mean," sez Pearl, "and armed to the teeth and made of completely impenetrable steel plating, but so help me if you want a rumble I'll take you on, armorments-boy!!" Surprisingly, Krupp doesn't react to this formidable if rather stupid show of valor. Instead, he just kind of stands there and looks a bit sad. "Hey!" muses Pearl, dropping her act. "By the looks of this guy, I'd say that he's been mindswiped just like everybody else in town. Only, nobody's yet set him in any direction. The poor sucker, he's all alone and without a master!

"Excuse me," Pearl flashes Krupp a disarming smile, "Are you lost?" Krupp whimpers a bit and nods his head. "Oh, you poor thing. I'll help you. You just come with me!" Pearl takes his hand and leads him out of the corridor. He follows readily, happy to have found someone to tell him what to do.

Soon, in the depths of Apollo Victoria's tunnel system, we find Joule and Volta rolling wearily down the subterranean arcades, looking for a way out. Volta, as usual, sees the glass half empty and balanced precariously at the edge of the table. "Oh, why do these things always happen to me?!" she moans. "For the first time in my life I was actually starting to enjoy my lot. Then, what do I get? I get holed up in an endless tunnel with no way out and only my idiot kid sister for company! Oh God! Why have you turned your back on your favorite car?!--"
"Dude!" says Joule. "Will you quit your whining? Really, Volta, you're the biggest downer. Why don't you relax? The exit to this maze is probably right around this next corner--"
"You've been saying that for three hours!! It's no good! We'll never get out of this twisted hellhole of death!"
"Oh yes we will! I know I'VE got better plans for this weekend than to die in a sewer with the likes of you. Besides, even if we ARE extremely lost, you've got minions now! Piles of 'em! They're bound to come looking for you, and when they do, we'll be scot free with a crazy-ass tale to tell our grandchildren!"
"Shut your noise-hole, Joule! There's not going to be any progeny for us! My minions are all braindead zombies. They can't think for themselves. They'll forget all about me and the land will fall into irretrievable chaos. The trainworld will be doomed to extinction, only we won't see the carnage because we'll have long since rotted away in this accursed tube!!"
"Trains don't rot away, they rust," sniffs Joule. "Now if you'll spare me your anecdotes of fear and loathing and plagues of oil turned to blood, I'd like to keep my spirits up. I ain't dyin' in no tube. Hey!" she says, brightening, "Let's play a game!"
"'Game'?" says Volta, twitching a bit.
"Sure! To pass the time away! Now, let's see. I'll start a story, then I'll pass it on to you and you add onto it. Then you pass it back to me and I'll add some more, and then you--"
"Gahhh!!"

Meanwhile, back at the Factory, Pearl has won Krupp's trust and he, in his altered state, has accepted her leadership. "It's very important that I complete this mission, Krupp. The whole world is depending on me!"
"Yes, master. I understand. I wish I could do something to help."
"Krupp, are you able to remember anything about the drugging? Anything at all?"
"No, master, I'm sorry."
"It's OK, Krupp, it's not your fault. If only--"
"Wait!" exclaims Krupp. "Forgive me, master, but I can remember someONE..."
"Really? Do tell!" sez Pearl.
"I remember a guy--a smallish, red fellow in a white mask. And, he had a vial. Kind of like that one you have!"
"Oh, this is good stuff. Tell me more!"
"OK," says Krupp. "And I can remember that he was real happy with whatever was in the vial. He said it could take care of everyone in town, even though it was a small vial. Then--I remember something he did. He emptied it into a big vat of pink goo. And there were a lot of scary if beautiful colors. And that's all that comes to mind."
Pearl snaps her fingers. "Of course! The chemical that Electra's people invented existed under an incredibly high level of concentration! That's how it was able to pollute the entire world supply of Bootlaces! Now, if that theory prevails, all we have to do is slip this antidote into a mass quantity of something that everyone in town will be easily exposed to. It's all so clear to me now! What a development! Krupp! You're a genius!" She hugs him.
"Thank you, master!" he beams. "You're much kinder to me than my last master ever was."
"Oh yeah? What was her name?"
"I have no idea!"

Chapter 13 - Anna

And so, we find ourselves further on in this dramatic saga - can Pearl save The Train She Loves, and incidentally the rest of the world as well, from Electra and CB's Evil Plot? Is their plot even still working? And how does Pearl manage to be so heroic without even chipping her nail varnish? All will be revealed!

Pearl considers. All the zombified trains are milling about all over the place. Any plan to cure them all would have to be pretty damn cunning. This not being Star Trek, she can't just pump the antidote round the air vents. *Now, what do all trains do, apart from eat bootlaces?* Well, they breathe (these are anthropomorphic trains, remember). And it is then that she espies a can of air freshener in the corner of the bootlace factory. She thinks, *If I could dilute this stuff, then spray it at people, maybe that would work. Slow, but it might work for long enough for me to find someone with a better idea. But first I must destroy all the contaminated bootlaces in this factory.*
"Krupp?"
"Yes, master?"
"Could you bring me all the bootlaces you can find and put them, oh, over there, in the middle of the floor?"
"Of course, master."
"Then, fill that big ol' empty vat over there with water."
Now Pearl has another problem. Do bootlaces burn?

Meanwhile, Volta has completely lost all hope of ever finding a way out of the underground caverns. She trudges along, staring at the floor. Joule however is more optimistic and is still looking around for an exit. Suddenly she stops.
"Sister! Look! There's a light - at the end of the tunnel!" (yeah, so that was predictable. Who cares?). Volta picks up, and they run towards the hole in the tunnel wall. After clambering up the rocky wall, they emerge into the sunlight. And a dreadful (to Volta) sight is before them......the bootlace factory in flames (conclusion: bootlaces *do* burn, if you douse them liberally with petrol), and free trains everywhere! Most of them brandishing water pistols, filled with the extremely diluted antidote. Volta and Joule are immediately caught across the face with huge gushes of water.
"We're not zombies, you idiots!" screams Volta, who decides that this definitely counts as a Bad Hair Day.
"Sorry," says Dinah (for it is she) cheerfully. "Can't be too careful, y'know?" And she skates off to liberate other areas of the city.

Chapter 14 - Kae

What a dogpile of happy chaos Apollo Victoria has become! Everywhere, once-zombified trains frolic left and right, spraying each other with antidote-filled Super Soakers and having a howling good time. And amidst it all are Joule and Volta, crashing through the crowd and trying to stop the party. Well, more specifically, Volta is trying to stop the party ("Aaahh!! My zombies! Stop it, you fools, you're ruining everything!!"), while Joule is just jumping around, invigorated by the whole melee ("Fire! Fire! Yeah-yeah-yeah!!"). Regardless, the madness plows ahead full-power. And at the heart of it all stands Pearl, grinning proudly as her new bodyguard, Krupp, sticks close by.

"Isn't this a trip? Our plan for Bootlace liberation is working, Krupp!"
"Yes, master! Long live the revolution!"
"Now, there's just one more pressing matter to take care of, and there's no more time to lose. We need to get busy and search this place until we find--"
"Three o'clock!!" shouts Krupp, pushing past Pearl and water-blasting a stray zombie who'd been looming amongst the trash receptacles. Pearl gasps as the dripping attacker regains consciousness and reveals himself to be--
"Rusty!!" she cries, running at him and throwing herself into his arms. Rusty, who's always been bigger on personality than physical strength, collapses on impact.
"Oh Rusty! Is it really you?!"
"I...think so!"
"Oh Rusty!! My very own engine of love!!"
"Shnoogie-bear!!"
Oh, what a very happy reunion!!

However, this happiest of reunions is unbeknownst to Electra, who is only just now making her way to the factory area with C.B. A chronic hydrophobic, Electra is doing her best to stay out of the way of the fracas. "What's going on?" she demands of her associate. "Why are they shooting each other?"
"My guess," says C.B., "is that somebody has gotten hold of the compressed antidote and, having added it to water, has encouraged the zombie citizens to expose each other to it via Super Soakers."
"Oh!" sez Electra. "Is that bad?"
"Not bad at all for us. Real bad for Volta."
"Ooh! Volta!" snarls Electra. "I'm gonna smash her like so many cows on the tracks!!"
"Sounds like a winner," says C.B. "Oh, look! There she is now!"
Electra whirls in the direction of C.B.'s indication and, seething, speeds off (regardless of the water hazard).

"You stupid trains!!" Volta carries on, "Can't you even stay hypnotized for more than two hours?! What is WRONG with this town?!--"
Joule dances by and alerts Volta. "Hey look, sis! It's the boss!"
"The boss? What do you--AAHH!! The boss!! Oh my god, she'll kill me!!"
"And how!"

Volta is seriously panicked. She leaps behind Joule, somehow imagining that this is a source of protection. "Hide me, Joule, hide me!!"
"Uh...OK," says Joule. Volta cringes as Electra pulls up and screeches to a stop.
"Volta!" roars Electra. "Where are you, ya little snot?!"
"Hello, boss!" sez Joule. "You're looking awfully shiny today!"
"Save me your psycho-babble, Joule! Where's your sister?"
"My who-what then?..."
"Your sister!"
"Oh! My sister! Oh, well, uh, I have several sisters. Did you want any particular one? I mean, I could get you any one of them on the phone. Except for the one, who lives in the states and is probably still asleep on account of the--"
"Silence!!"
"--Time zones."
"Listen, I've had a rough couple of days. Don't make this harder on the both of us. I need Volta! Voll-tahh!! Yay tall, blue, soon to be dead--Volta!!"
"Oh! Oh! Uh--yes. Well...I haven't seen her. Ever. I mean, I've never met her. Sorry."
"Dyehh!! Stupid, stupid, STUPID car!!--"

Suddenly, Pearl, Rusty and Krupp happen by. Pearl finds the situation at hand to be rather odd. "Hi, Electra! Hi, Joule! Hi, Volta!--"
"Aha! Just as I suspected!" shouts Electra. She picks up Joule and throws her, revealing Volta. "Your clever hiding place fails you!"
"Eep!!" sez Volta. Electra grabs Volta by the collar and suspends her at eye-level (she's prone to that action, y'know). "Ah, you've been a bad girl lately, haven't ya? Huh?" She grins mirthlessly at her captive and shakes her a bit.
"Please boss, let me explain--"
"Usurper!!" shrieks Electra. "Backstabber! Insensitive bitch!! So you like to show off, do ya? Well, for your next number you're gonna die in big, embarrassing pieces right here in front of all these people!!"
"Cool!" sez Dinah.
"Excuse me, boss?" Joule tugs on Electra's arm. Electra growls and gives Joule her vague attention. "Yes, soot-for-brains, what is it?"
"I was just thinking," mentions Joule. "That maybe you shouldn't break Volta. Cuz maybe none of this is her fault!"
"Feh! You're just trying to protect your sister!"
"When have I ever?"
"Hm, touche."
"I was thinking," continues Joule, "That Volta might not have been able to control her overthrowing you. What if C.B. MADE her do it? What if he got her with the Bootlaces and brainwashed her into doing you wrong? Y'know, so you'd go after her and not him! How about that?"
"Hmm..." says Electra. "Volta, brainwashed and zombified by CB. Could it have been?"
"That's my theory, anyway," says Joule.
"Oh yes!" wails Volta, "That was exactly the case! I was out of my right mind, Electra! I would NEVER consciously oppose you!!"
"I must admit," considers Electra, "That I've never caught you doing anything so enormously heinous in the past. You've always been quite loyal, and largely spineless if memory serves--"
"God, yes! That's me all over! Totally invertebrate! Please, boss, don't hurt me. I was tricked, really. Thank goodness these kind people were here to stop me before I did something really bad!"
"Gaw?" says Pearl.
"Well, alright," concedes Electra. "You could never overthrow me by your own means. Ha! You're crap!" Electra lowers Volta to the ground, unharmed. "Oh, thank you boss!" snivels Volta, who goes running to hide behind Joule again. "Thanks, sis," she says discretely, "You really saved my taillights! Maybe you're not as dumb as I thought you were!"
"Dwuhh?" sez Joule.
"However," snaps Electra, "If Volta isn't to blame for all of this, who is? I mean, I came all the way out here and so help me, I'm not leaving till I smash somebody."
"How about CB?" suggests Dinah. "Didn't he start all this nonsense anyway?"
"By cracky, he did! All this noise is completely and totally his doing! Trains!! We must extract vengeance from this vile bringer of social destruction! Who's with me?!" Random trains begin to shout their allegiance to the new cause. "Excellent!" cries Electra. "We'll hunt down this menace and make sure he never plagues our fair city again!!"
"Hot dog!!" cheers Joule. "I've got a flaming torch!"
"And I've got a pitchfork!" sez Rusty.
"Yeah, that's the spirit!" yells Electra. "Now, follow me, citizens! He's got to be lurking around here somewhere! And when we find him, we'll make him pay!!"

Chapter 15 - Anna

CB has fled to the catacombs below Apollo Victoria, having seen the trains are massing to be really mean to him. Pitchforks, scythes and flaming torches are much in evidence. Various trains are yelling, "Rhubarb, rhubarb," in an attempt to create the right sort of ambience. And now they are heading for the nearest entrance to the tunnels, i.e. the one that Volta and Joule just came out of. Electra is trying to stay away from the still-water-pistol-toting coaches. Rusty and Pearl are trying to stay as close to each other as possible, in a very vomit-inducing way.

"So," says Dinah, to make conversation, "when we get there, do we soak him?"
"No, you stupid car!" shouts Electra. "He hasn't been drugged, he's just been an evil bastard. So we're going to kick the hell out of him!" "But won't we get, like, all oil and stuff everywhere? I just had this dry-cleaned!"

They hear an evil cackle in front of them, and speed up. The sight of hundreds of trains speeding down a tunnel should not be underestimated. At last they reach a cavern. And in the centre stands CB. "So, you found me," he says with a sneer. "Much good may it do you! My plans are already in motion! All of Apollo Victoria shall bow to me! Mwaa-ha-" At this point, CB's evil laughter is cut off, by Rusty hitting CB very hard over the head with his pitchfork. "I don't know about you, but he was really starting to get on my nerves," says he. Everyone cheers, and the trains carry him at head height through the tunnels back out into the sunlight (giving him a few nasty cracks about the head in the process, but that's not a very good end to a story, so I'll leave it out).
"So," says Rusty to Pearl (who is being carried along beside him, on Krupp's shoulders), "is this the end of the story?"
"Nope," says Pearl. "It's not the end until someone says

And what a happy bunch they are as the trains of Apollo Victoria drag C.B.off to the proper authorities! Leading the triumphant mob out of the tunnel, Rusty perches on the shoulders of his peers, smiling his "wow, I'm so consistently lucky!" smile. At his side is Pearl, level with Rusty atop the shoulders of her faithful minion Krupp. And everybody's having a great time...

When suddenly Krupp is struck in the back and collapses on the ground! Pearl picks herself up off the pavement, then scrambles back to her servant. "Krupp!" she shrieks, "Are you OK?!" she turns him over and cradles his head in her lap. "Oh, my god!! Krupp's been shot!!"
"Gee, that's a new one," sez Joule.
"Krupp!" cries Pearl. "Speak to me!" Krupp struggles to keep his eyes open. He draws a ragged breath. "I...I'm sorry, master, I've f-failed you..."
"Nooo!" wails Pearl. "Krupp, you're the nicest, most wonderful thug I've ever known! Please don't leave me!!"
"It's b-been a pleasure serving you, master...it is my great honor that I have p-preserved your life with the sacrifice of mine..."
"What the hell?!" barks Electra. "He never died for ME before!"
"Oh, his life isn't good enough for you, boss!" shmoozes Volta.
Pearl holds Krupp's hand and sobs. "No, Krupp, please don't die!! Rusty! Do something!!"
"Huh? Sorry, I wasn't paying attention--"
"All of you people are idiots," announces Wrench, suddenly present amongst the crowd. "Krupp, you're not shot."
"I'm not?"
"No. I hit you with a water balloon full of antidote."
"Water balloon?" says Krupp. He reaches behind him and sure enough, discovers the shattered remains of a balloon. "Oh. How bout that, it WAS a darn balloon..."
"Ha!!" says Joule. "You dork!"
"Shut up!!" cries Krupp.
"So," says Pearl to Krupp, "I guess you'll be going now--"
"Eegh!" exclaims Krupp, suddenly back in his right mind. He goes running off in Electra's direction.
"I've never HAD a minion before," whiles Pearl as Krupp disappears into the crowd. "I'm really going to miss him."
"Nyeh, there's always the next evil plot," says Rusty. "Hey, everybody! After we drop off C.B., let's all go to my house for a Strawberry Bootlace party!!"
"Yaaaaay!"
"But didn't we just--"
"Last one there's a red caboose!!"
"Yaaaaay!!"

"Mwa-ha. You see, Volta," says Electra, slapping the freezer on the back, "The trains of Apollo Victoria have learned nothing from this whole ordeal. This town is all luck and no brain. But one day their luck will run out, and I shall rule the trainworld once and for all. You should be proud and thankful that you're a part of this brilliant operation."
"I am eternally grateful, boss. You're the train!"
"I sure am!" smiles Electra, and the two laugh together. Then, they flash each other an awful, virulent glance before they join the happy crowd as it chugs on down the road.

And now, it is the end!

Or is it? ;)