Going away to a different school/college/university? Want to make sure that everyone there knows you're a StEx fan? Follow my simple tips.

1) The obvious one - rollerskate. Everywhere. If people ask you to take the skates off, tell them you don't think you can remember how to walk any more.

2) dye your hair pink (or blue and white and make it stand up on top of your head).

3) wear a different StEx costume every day, and act completely in character for that costume. Work on your other costumes in the middle of the lounge and/or corridor.

4) always answer people in lines from the show, which you must of course sing, with the appropriate choreography.

5) giggle if anyone mentions any of the following words - train, component, coach, steam, electric, diesel etc, in any context whatsoever (for eg 'Yeah, I've got football training now - we've got a new coach' should make you laugh hysterically).

6) refuse to answer to your real name - use your train name at all times. Write it on all the work you hand in, and write your surnumber instead of your surname. They'll learn.

7) beg, bribe, cajole and persuade until all your new friends promise to come and see StEx with you at the earliest opportunity. Talk about really obscure things from the show and tell them they'll understand when they've seen it.

8) if anyone asks what you did last night, say you didn't go out, you had an important fracas to attend. Describe what happened in minute detail.

9) bake cakes and biscuits in the shape of little trains and offer them to people. Ice names on the cakes/biscuits and refuse to let anyone eat Rusty (or your other favourite).

10) play Starlight Express loudly at all times. Start with English, then move on to German or Spanish. Sing along loudly (this freaks people out even more if it's in a foreign language, and you appear to know all the words. Singing along to the Mexican recording in German is a good one).

11) ask everyone you meet if they support steam, diesel or electricity. If they answer different to how you would have, refuse to speak to them until they apologise.